We Keep On Living

TBH I haven't written anything in a while mostly because I haven't had the time. It's been a pretty hard task just trying to stay updated on this blog, so actually the fact that I've updated at all these past few weeks is a miracle.


I guess this post will be more personal, since I don't have the strength to do my normal social justice thing. It's just going to be me sharing stories about things that have happened in the time since I last updated this blog.

A few days ago, IU's latest MV (23) dropped and I have been watching it nonstop. As usual, she looks beautiful and lovely, and, as usual, I am wishing I could be her. The song, if I'm interpreting it correctly, kind of describes her current struggle and indecision in the world of fame and tries to answer the question that pretty much every angsty teen/young adult faces, which is "Who am I?".
I am also listening a lot to Kesempurnaan Cinta by Rizky Febian. I heard it on the radio and it grabs my attention every time it pops up. I listened to it on one of those Youtube replay websites and it got up to 20+.

I am really just rambling and writing whatever comes to mind but it seems that this is going to become a music post. Besides those two songs, I've been mindlessly playing Aerocity's Soundcloud over and over again because his music is always really relaxing. I haven't been writing a lot of poetry lately because there's been so much work for IBA and tratan. Oh! Tomorrow is tratan practice and I'm supposed to bring two fans (we are learning a fan dance) but I don't have any...
Last Friday-Sunday (24-25 October) was makrab, which is a portmanteau for malam akrab, which is basically this bonding session. And it was for our major, which, if you didn't know, is International Business Administration. We have 47 students in all in our major this year but only 25 came, which sucks because it's supposed to be a bonding session and how are we supposed to bond if not everyone comes? But I admit that it was fun. Now, here's the situation.
IBA 1 is split into two classes: 1A and 1B. I'm in 1A. At makrab, I spent 90% of my time with kids from 1B. And honestly, I feel like I don't belong in 1A. I love all the people in it, but I don't know how to talk about cars or EDM or makeup and I feel like I'm really far away whenever they discuss things or crack jokes. Like...the things that I'm interested in are so different from the things they're interested in. And it's hard because 1A is more separated into distinct groups than 1B is. 1A has 3 main groups and I don't fit in any of them. I come into class each day and usually sit by myself, which makes me feel self-conscious and embarrassed. And it's not their fault. It's just that they are different.

Anyways, during makrab, I felt so happy and confident and comfortable being myself with the 1B kids. I've always had to put aside my music taste, but meeting someone in 1B who actually listens to Tame Impala in Indonesia is amazing okay (that would be Takoyaki, by the way). I felt connected and happy! All of the code names I give for people on this blog are foods, if you haven't noticed. I would hope you noticed. Listen to this song by Tame Impala, by the way.

We listened to a lot of baper songs during makrab. I'm not sure how to explain baper but it's also a portmanteau, of the words bawa perasaan. It's like...being biased with prior feelings? Or having an idea already in your head? Or something? Aduh it's difficult to explain. I use that word a lot. See, my English teachers were right when they said that context clues were really important :p

I requested to move to 1B and I very much hope they'll let me move. Mocha showed me Open Season by Josef Salvat and I think it is a fantastic song. I know this is a disorganized ramble of stuff. I am slowly getting more into Indonesian pop so go ahead and listen to Cinta dan Rahasia by Yura Yunita and Glenn Fredly. I live for duets, you know. Indonesian songs are so baper and galau and I love it because I'm a lame piece of trash. Someone said that I should not move to 1B because it's a shortcut out of a bad situation and that I just need to tough it out. They asked, "What'll happen when you have a bad situation in the future at work?" You know, at my eventual job I feel like people will be more mature than college kids? Also, I'm really not going to go for a traditional job. I'm planning on starting a magazine, for goodness' sake. Entrepreneurship and all that. So if you think I'm going to work in an office or have a corporate job, you've got me all wrong because that has never and will never be me. I'm going to work with people who are mission-oriented and have the same goal and drives as me. And if there are problems I'm going to face them. But I am not going to accept a job where people do not understand me. Don't get me wrong, okay? I'm not being sombong. I just have a really clear idea of who I am and what I want and what I value. Work is inevitably different from school because at work there are incentives to do well and a team and workmates will generally be more motivated and dedicated.

And, you know, I don't really subscribe to the notion that people have to be strong and emotionally tough. I'm making this request to feel safe and happy and confident and motivated. Saying, "What if in the future you can't handle your environment?", well, let's just say that if it's a job and akhirnya it's not a good fit for me, then I'll move. Putting my mental and emotional health and my grades at risk just to try to be tough or strong is ridiculous. I have no idea where we got this notion that it's weak to take care of ourselves. Stop telling young kids that they just need to "tough it out" and bottle up their feelings and fears. That leads to emotionally stunted and crazy kids.

Shut up, old people.

Anyways, about makrab. It was a lot of fun and it made me happy to get closer to my classmates. We went to Anyer in a big bus. Anyer is about 3 hours away from BSD and there are lots of beaches there. We stayed overnight at a villa which was apparently very haunted. We played lots of games and had a barbecue late at night and I stayed up late staring out at the forest talking to Manju. And it was beautiful. We put up tents even though we didn't sleep in them. I keep using the word "we". Is it getting redundant?

I have this dream of living that romantic life that most people only see in movies and over-filtered music videos. I want to run through forests and fields of wheat and I want to see the sun set on a beach, I want to watch the sun rise from a mountain, I want to go water skiing and pet dolphins and dance like an idiot in a beautiful room with a beautiful boy. Is that too romantic? Sometimes I feel like it conflicts with my religion, which is (?) supposed to be austere and simple. My over-romantic streak is coming back alive, especially after Anyer and staying up late and talking and making hot cocoa and stuff like that. It gets to you, okay? Is it selfish to want a life like that?

Arctic Monkey did a cover of Hold On, We're Going Home (that's by Drake). I don't know if including Arctic Monkeys makes me trash but I think it's a cute song, even though tbh Drake's version is better.

I would like to go to Laneway (that's an indie music festival in Australia) next year. Speaking of Drake, Hotline Bling has been getting a lot of attention on social media and I find that interesting. I don't have a problem with Drake's lame dance moves because it's his music video and hell knows he's got a lot more money than I do.

Midterm GPAs came out last week and I'm doing well, but I really need to stop getting distracted.. I still want to be best graduate, so I can't afford to spend more time than necessary on things that aren't super important. I'm sorry I haven't been consistent with my updates. How are you doing? Are you having a happy and healthy day? I hope so!

Love,
RIN

Plagiarism

Eventually, all writers are going to come to this issue. I'm just going to share how I feel, because I think it's a really polarizing discussion. Be warned, you might not like what I have to say. I'm mostly going to just respond to points made on Tumblr by users agooduniverse and mythaelogy.

I think our world is becoming more and more global and more and more digital. It's easy to pick up a phone and message someone from 10,000 miles away. Things you share through the Internet can be viewed anywhere that has a connection. The fear of plagiarism is actually why I stopped posting a lot of poetry on the Internet.

So, about plagiarism.

Positive statement of the day: It is immoral to plagiarize.
Normative statement of the day: People will plagiarize.
Definition of plagiarism (in my own words): plagiarism is the act of taking someone else's words, ideas, phrases, or other creative products and passing it off as original content

The main idea, I think, of plagiarism: passing off someone's work as your own original creation. 

Writers and other creative-content-producers can be incredibly idealistic, arguing against plagiarism and posting huge Creative Commons images on blogs and doing other things that, you know, may or may not work. Honestly, I believe that the higher you get in the creative world, the more plagiarists and copycats you're going to get. Take a look at every famous poet in the history of the English language. I'm willing to bet that every single one has been used as creative inspiration and "creative inspiration", if you know what I mean. Of course, that doesn't make it okay. But that's our baseline; that's the world we are currently in.

Anyways, I'm just going to go through these Tumblr posts (these poets are brilliant, and you should definitely check them out with the links I gave above) and try to respond. Now, I'm not saying they're wrong or trying to tear down their argument. I really just want to have a discussion, even if there's a chance that maybe they won't see this. I know this is kind of linked more to Tumblr, but I think a discussion on plagiarism for the art world in general would be really healthy.

 

• I do believe people need to be more aware of plagiarism occurring in creative, or "non-serious" situations.
• I don't think the line between creative inspiration and plagiarism is unclear at all, honestly. If you're basing your work off of someone else's, i.e. using their poem or artwork as a reference, then you have a responsibility to state your inspiration and give credit. 
• To a degree, I agree that people shouldn't use another author's phrases in their work. But cliches, aphorisms, etc., I think that's fine. But there are poems based off of the first line of other poems: a famous example is the response to Drayton's Sonnet 61, which I have currently forgotten. I think we can include phrases when we are responding to them.
• There are entire literary movements and schools of thought and art, so "copying" another person's style is kind of stretching it, I think. Copy-pasting and just changing crucial adjectives or adverbs or names and then saying, "I wrote a poem!" isn't right, but developing (through osmosis or through the individual art journey) a style similar to another artist isn't necessarily plagiarism. 
• For forms like sonnets, sestinas, etc., you can't really "plagiarize" the form. But yes, for original form, logical order of ideas, for word phrases, for word order, diction, connotation: I do believe that you can plagiarize and that people who are trying to be "inspired" by a poet's form must give credit.
• Yeah no removing the source for a poem on Tumblr just isn't okay.
• To me, the title is part of the poem. Removing it is just as blasphemous as removing a different line in the poem.

Hurting Isn't Flirting !!!

I read a story on the Internet (most of us do that) about a mother who got upset at a comment made by a well-meaning hospital worker after a 4-year-old girl had to get stitches. Stitches because a boy hit her in the face. Here's the Facebook post:

This story ran on Buzzfeed, but I'm not going to link Buzzfeed because I have a strong bias against Buzzfeed and their clickbaity hellhole of unoriginal content. Instead, I'm going to post screenshots of comments on Buzzfeed and explain why this issue is a big deal to me and other people.

Why is this issue important? Why was the comment problematic?

I understand that maybe the hospital worker had good intentions to try and lighten up the situation, but normalizing abuse is not the way to go. People might look at this as an isolated incident, and if you look at this as an isolated incident it's not so bad. Because it's one comment, and over the course of our lives we receive a lot of different comments. But we don't live in vacuums. We live in a world structured by systems, and we're coming into contact with one of them.

Throughout my girlhood (not childhood, because that was taken away from me when I was 3) people told me that boys show affection by hitting or being rough or mean. And it wasn't just one person one time. As I grew up, I heard that statement--"He probably likes you"--used to normalize anything from emotional unavailability to full-on manipulation. This faceless and nameless hospital worker isn't the issue here. The issue is all of us, mindlessly saying things that individually don't mean all that much, but collectively mean a whole fucking lot. And when this system of courtship tells young people, over and over, that boys show affection by being mean or by hitting, for God's sake, young people are going to grow up thinking that this sort of behavior is okay, it's to be expected, it's a "sign that someone likes you". It's not. Don't normalize problematic behavior.

 I don't know where this person is getting "nurture blah blah blah" from but that's not what Mrs. Smith was trying to say. And yes, people accept partner violence and problematic behavior like emotional unavailability and an inability to express opinions in a proper manner because of this. Because we make excuses for aggressors by saying that "that's just their nature" and that we're the ones who have to change to accommodate their harm. And I mean. When you're constantly saying "fuck bitches, get money," because you think it's funny or cute, I think it's rational for people to think you believe that's a good way of living life. I think it's rational for people to take what you say and interpret it according to the context. We don't have an "edit" option in the real world, where we can go back and rephrase our comments for a more appropriate meaning. People need to take responsibility for the things they say and own up to harmful behavior.

 

So she's four years old, yeah. But excusing his comment and the gendered system of courtship (boys are stoic and don't know how to show emotion, girls are sensitive) isn't healthy. Using trigger words like "femnazi" isn't funny or cute either, because seriously? Equating women who dare to have a voice with a terror regime? That's not an equal analogy at all. Yes, sometimes (even often) feminists do things that...require more planning and social awareness. Like pulling the fire alarm on a Men's Rights meeting. 

This person saying that Mrs. Merritt needs to stop overreacting because she's embarrassing the "poor guy" is taking the all-too-common stance of defending the aggressor. That's a strong word in this situation because he didn't really mean to, like, indoctrinate her daughter with the gender regime, but in this case I think you could call him an aggressor. Like part of a faceless army of people who don't know better. "Dealing with it yourself" as in?? Letting the mother reassure and teach her daughter? That only works so well up to a point. After all, I'm sure you're aware of all the young girls who seek outside validation and aren't satisfied when their parents love and support them. By adolescence children begin to be more influenced by their friends and peers, so when people continue to tell them this (believe me, it doesn't stop), it has a huge effect. It's very literally doctrine. That's scary to think about, honestly. It's a doctrine that doesn't even require evangelism because people go out and spread it every day without thinking.

 

It isn't overreacting to educate people about issues in their thinking and to support awareness for a harmful way of thinking and rationalizing harmful behavior. It's never overreacting to stand up and speak out for what you believe in. It's never overreacting to protect your voice.

 

How about we let go of this notion that kids need to be forced out into the real world before they're ready? How about we stop telling parents that they can't love and spoil their kids because that'll ruin them? Do you know that the most resilient and psychologically stable adults have intimate and healthy relationships with their parents? LOVE YOUR GODDAMN KIDS. BE GOOD TO THEM. STOP TRYING TO BE ARTIFICIALLY "TOUGH" WHEN THE SITUATION DOESN'T WARRANT IT.

 The human brain is still developing even in the mid-twenties (frontal lobes, anyone?). This person's weird psychoanalysis of Mrs. Smith just comes off as really bizarre because he's going into this shit like "to compensate for this feeling of guilt", blah blah blah. Hello, Freud 2.0! This isn't about sheltering or coddling. This is about highlighting a problematic trend that furthers the gender divide between girls and boys, when really there shouldn't be a divide because it's a goddamn spectrum. Boys can be emotionally effusive and open! Stop underestimating men and blaming everything on the "INHERENT NATURE OF MALES" DUN DUN DUN. 

And of course there's more "protecting the aggressor" behavior, which is probably to be expected. But Mrs. Smith made a post to try and raise awareness of harmful and very subtle indoctrination, and I think that it's important. I think people need to be aware that we as a collective make excuses for boys who can't yet properly express their emotions. I think people need to be aware that we make excuses for people who "were just trying to do the right thing". The right intentions with the wrong consequences can have extremely harmful consequences. This hospital dude isn't bad for trying to make light of a crappy situation, but it's the way he did it that we want to raise awareness of.

I don't know. This isn't as official as I feel like it should be. But, hey, blogs are for the author, right? I'm going to keep doing me. This is how I wanted to talk about the issue and I'm going to post this now. Thank you for reading all the way up to here and I hope you got an idea of why this issue is a big deal! And hopefully you'll do your best to minimize subliminal indoctrination. I sound like some sort of cultist.

I hope you're okay with the fact that my blog posts are slowly becoming more personal. It's the social commentary coming out. Except I'm not so great at social commentary or big keywords, so I come off sounding like an idiot. I hope you have a beautiful day full of exquisite things.

Love,
RIN

Electric Ocean // Updates

This is the first post I'm making that doesn't have the standard picture header. But that's because this is a different kind of post.

I made a playlist. It's called Electric Ocean. You don't have to listen to it in a specific order, and in the download link I'm going to give you, the songs will all be downloaded alphabetically. Here's the download link. Other playlists I'll make will have a specific order but this one is a little bit different because it celebrates 3 years of life with my best friend. So it's not a super specific playlist with a specific aesthetic. It's just a chronicle of our memories. If you don't feel like downloading it you can listen to it here.

I'm just thinking a little about where I want to go from here. There are so many goals I want to achieve and I'm full of doubt. Who do I get close to? And all that stuff. I kind of want to move to PR from IBA because I feel like I'd like PR so much more. I feel stupid that I chose IBA simply because I was worried that PR wouldn't make enough money. It sucks that I'm always thinking about money, you know? But now I'm wanting to make a magazine and I'm really starting to regret not joining PR.

My cousin helps me a lot because she prays the 'rosary of liberation' with me. I think that after we started regularly praying I've been doing better. I know, I know, I'm not Catholic. If anything I'm nondenominational Christian. But I pray it with her every night and I always feel better afterwards. The sinking feeling about my academics and my time at SGU also fades whenever I pray regularly. So I think I'm going to keep doing it.

The seniors are always telling me that our sense of belonging is lacking, and maybe they're right. But when a bunch of the students in my class don't even want to go to makrab and we never really spend time together, how can our sense of belonging become stronger? We need more assemblies and university-wide events, rather than things that are just for SO or major-specific.

I've been getting up to date on fashion, which means, of course, stalking the Louis Vuitton S/S 2016 show. Fernanda Hin Lin Ly (left, famous for her pink hair) walked the show, and I think five other new models debuted.  It was a futuristic show, with light elements and big screen projections. Like installation art. Chunky pieces, metal, and leather were probably the defining traits of the show.

I'm just including this picture because I really like her hair and her outfit, even though I doubt it would look stellar on me. I hope someday I'll have enough money to be able to afford Louis Vuitton, and that I'll be responsible with that money rather than spending it on unnecessary luxuries.

Anyways, it looks like Paris Fashion Week was gorgeous. I wonder if I'll be able to go to Jakarta Fashion Week and someday even to PFW. And all the other Fashion Weeks. Semoga, ya.

I'm in the library right now, writing this post because my classes for the day are over. Later I have choir practice, but I also have a meeting for BEM Education. A lot of people are saying in the group chat that they can't make it, which makes me feel sad for some unknowable reason. Maybe because I wish people cared more? Or were more solid? It's different, going to a relatively unknown university in Indonesia. It doesn't help that we're next to Prasetiya Mulya, which is apparently the best university in Indonesia for business. People in my class like to compare SGU to Prasmul, which makes me sad. It also makes me kind of angry because they don't want to work to do a better job and raise SGU's status in the community and country, but they can still compare us to Prasmul.

I've been listening to Justin Bieber's "What Do You Mean" a lot more than I should. I think a lot of other people are too, because sometimes I'll be walking to class or sitting in the library and then I'll hear someone sing it. I really like the song, though.  

Can someone help me understand why everyone seems to call me some variation of "dumpling"? Are my cheeks really that chubby? (o^_^o)

Look at me, sharing all my feelings in this post. Sorry if I'm being a little bit lame! I'm not sure what to add to this post. I've been tired and haven't really been sleeping on time, so I'm going to try and take better care of myself. This is just a reminder to please try and take care of yourself. You're precious and lovable and valued in this world and I hope you know that. Even if you can't accept it, please know that however wrong you might think I am, I believe it so much.

Love,
Rin

Happy National Poetry Day!!

Happy National Poetry Day, my lovely sheep! Some questions I've been asked this week:

HOW DO YOU POETRY?
HOW DO YOU PERFORM THE POETRY?
HOW CAN I WRITE BETTER POETRY?

Honestly, I don't believe there's such a thing as "better poetry", but I do think there's a thing called "more evocative poetry". So that's what I'm going to try and help you out with! Poetry and the written and spoken word are beautiful, beautiful creations that have the power to unite people all around the world, so I hope this post motivates you to write some or helps you improve.

1. When you're stuck, write about things you know.

This will be a little bit related to point 2. Sometimes I get writer's block by comparing my writing to other people's writing and trying to write about the same things they do, even if I've personally never experienced those topics. For example: someone on the Internet will talk about forests and robots. And I'll be so inspired that I start trying to write about forests and robots too. And then I get really frustrated because I don't know anything about robots and I know marginally little about forests so then I feel bad and I feel like I'm not good enough and I should stop writing forever.

That's a really unhealthy way of thinking because everyone has different experiences and you can't really compare yourself to people who come from different backgrounds, cultures, lives, etc. You may think your story is uninteresting or even lame, but I promise that skill with words can turn even a dull experience into something lively and heartrending.

Anyways, if you look up spoken word poetry on Youtube and watch some videos, you may realize that all of the poets seem to talk or write about topics that mean a lot to them. It's easy to write about things we care about because we have strong feelings about them and can be more creative when we write. Passion can sing so loudly within a poem about subject matter you hold dear to you, whether that's love or forests or robots or pancakes.

2. Don't try too hard to be academic or literary.

I started really writing poetry when I was 12 or 13 years old. At first I would just write about the horrible boys I was crushing on at the time, or I'd lament about my sad life. Then, I started getting critiques on my poetry. It was "edgy" and "angsty". It makes sense that my writing would be angsty, especially since I was a super-emotional teenage girl, but from about 14 to 16 I went through this phase where I would try super hard to sound intelligent. I'd constantly emulate Longfellow or John Donne or some other great poet. I'd use stupid words like "translucent" or "chimerical". It was frustrating, because my voice got clouded in the process and it took months to get that out of my writing. This is beyond cliche, but just be yourself. We like to read language that is natural, and there's no rule saying that we need to sound like a college professor to write.

3. Practice reading your poetry to an audience.

Before I performed at Salihara, I practiced reading "Weeks" in front of Durian a lot. We have an outdoor cafeteria called the MENSA, so that's where I would read to him, standing up and practicing hand motions and slowly memorizing my poem. I was really scared about looking like an idiot in front of all the people coming and going out of the MENSA, which is why it was such good experience. Repetition also helped me to really memorize the poem and instill it with my personal style/dramatism.

I have some form of social anxiety, but I've been trying to face those fears, and spoken word poetry has been a really helpful way to get me out of that paranoid and self-conscious mindset. My advice is to find a good friend you can trust to be supportive and honest and is patient enough to listen to you read/recite your poetry.

Also, I think that spoken poetry is often more powerful when it is memorized. So the more you practice, the more you can memorize. Don't be lazy practicing! I practiced in the shower, at the MENSA, during class, in the car...Basically every free chance that you get, recite a verse or stanza or even all of your poem.

4. Read a lot of poetry.

There's a difference between reading poetry to "learn" and reading poetry to learn. Just like we can read books and absorb different styles, different ways of writing the same scene, different--everything--we can also read different poems by different authors and learn techniques from them. How does a certain poet describe a sunset? How does a different poet describe that sunset? How do certain poets express different emotions, like anger or frustration? How do poets use white space and non-alphabet characters to express a thought?

Poems don't have to be in an analog book. You can find so many wonderful poems on the internet now. Tumblr is an especially ripe garden for poetry.

Along this same thought, watch a lot of poetry! Sarah Kay and Phil Kaye and Lemon Andersen all have different methods of spoken poetry. They use their bodies and hands differently. They have different intonations and inflections when speaking.

-

I tried to make this post short and simple so you could focus on the most important aspects of writing poetry. I hope you enjoy #NationalPoetryDay and maybe even feel inspired to write some poetry of your own. If you do, feel free to tell me about it in the comments below or tweet to me @HELLORINNIE!

Love,

Rin

Salihara Poetry Slam Happy Times!!

Aduhhhhh sumpah I'm so happy that I was able to attend the Salihara Poetry Slam. Now that it's done, I'm happy to share the poem I wrote with you! As you might remember, it's called "Weeks".

WEEKS

Sunday:
When I tell them I have anxiety disorder
they look at me with something like pity in their eyes,
something like "I was just kind of curious but I didn't
mean to make you
think I cared."

Monday:
A boy told me to open up more and then
he drove away even as I held a bottle of
61 pills in my right hand 3 1 1 2 1 4

Tuesday:
About me:
In my dreams there is a field of crocuses on the night
of the blood moon: a million flowers,
covering the tracks of the children,
who are disappearing one
by one
by one into the forest.

Holden Caulfield is there,
catching them just before they
jump off the cliff

Wednesday:
All the past versions of me are tucked into
the limitless pockets of a boy named after

here, a random photo of me.

the sun. I told him that he shone. I told him
a lot of things. I was a good liar. When
everyone around me laughs I laugh along into empty
space and all around me are canyons and, baby, I am
far

away.

Thursday:
The river was really cold,
I say.
I stare at fires,
I say.
They spit out little bugs that
leave trails of light behind for (~)2
seconds before
fluttering into ash, I am a
firebug,
I

[breathe]

Friday:
Every day I see you in school and
honestly there is nothing
wonderful
about you. This is not going to be
anything romantic. It's just me saying
sometimes  I look at your hands
and wonder
if they are nice to hold,
and
sometimes
I wonder if there is a universe out there
for all the lovers
who never got to spend their lives together,
I pretend I will see you again,
I pretend you are not
the death of me,
I pretend that I am fine whenever
I don't get perfect scores,
when I am shivering in nameless rivers
I pretend
I am
not
cold

Saturday:
When I tell them the stories
of my mother and I and the way she stuffed
chili powder into my mouth when I was
bad,
or when she broke the broom
hitting me,
or when I sat out for hours
waiting for her to pick me up

they look at me with something like pity
in their eyes
and I am really just betting
at that point,
that when I send mail out
it won't be back in my mailbox
after a few weeks

Sunday:
I tell my stories over and
over and over and
over again thinking that maybe
for once probability will be on my side
and that someone
will care enough to
message me at 3am to say,
Hey
I miss you

I am the walking open book
I am here to say,
baby,
look at all the goddamn stars.

They chose three winners and I'm so happy to say I was one of them (yeah, I know the photo is blurry). I really need to invest in a good camera....

I got that adorable tumbler and a 100.000 Rp. + 50.000 Rp. voucher to Periplus Bookstore. Hopefully I'll get to use the vouchers soon because there's supposedly a Periplus store at Summarecon Mal Serpong. Durian and Vanilla and Choco were there and adorable! I left my house with Durian and here's a special shout-out to you, mister, for supporting me and for listening to me practice my poem over and over and over this past week. Sumpah, it helped me so much. 

And here's a selfie Vanilla and Choco and I took <3:

Rain and the lovely Avi were also there and that made me happy, I'm glad I finally got to meet Avi and that I also got to meet Rain again. She's honestly one of my favorite people!!!!

There were so many talented poets that came to the Poetry Slam, including Rara Rizal. I loved her poem and the feeling and emotion in it. I wish I could watch it again because it had some really fantastic lines and it was a joy to watch. Ayu's poem for introverts was also absolutely amazing and it really spoke to me because, of course, I'm an introvert. And it just makes me want to keep producing and being brave enough to read my poetry. 

There was also some really good (and dark) coffee for sale there and I'm kind of craving it again, so maybe I'll have to go back to Salihara next week, hehehe.

I'm going to make my next post a short guide on how to write poetry and include some tips that really helped (and continue to help) me, even though honestly I don't believe I'm qualified enough to write that sort of post. But since some people are requesting my advice I'm more than honored to give it! Please look forward to that! Also, I'll try and see if anyone got a recording of my performance so that I can post it here for anyone who is curious. I think that "Weeks" is the sort of poem that really needs to be heard rather than read. Thank you so much for coming along on my adventures and cheering me on. All of you readers and listeners push me to keep writing and reading and working hard to improve for your sake!

So much love,

Rin

Quiet Saturdays

I feel ready to post today! Today I'm going to share my adventures from this lovely Friday. I was supposed to go to Jaksel to hang out with Rain but a lot of stuff happened and I wasn't allowed to go...so I went to the IBA parent meeting at SGU and it was all very nice until my teacher began talking about how sometimes they get students who are very aggressive and they have heavy burdens in their heart, or something along those lines. I was very annoyed because that was a very badly veiled reference to me. So badly veiled, in fact, that some of my friends gave me funny looks BECAUSE THEY OBVIOUSLY KNEW WHO SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY TALKING ABOUT.

Anyways, I was very annoyed so I decided to just leave the meeting. Impolite, maybe, but I never said I was a proper "lady".

So SGU has this month-long event called Octfest, and one of the events within the event is something called the External Cup. Today there were a few futsal matches and I went to watch them because I left early from the parent meeting and I'd also made plans with one of my other friends from IBA 1B. We met there and then afterwards my friend from Mechatronics (I need to start coming up with code names for these people so the friend from Mechatronics will be Durian) said he hadn't eaten yet so I said, well okay let's go eat somewhere. Now, there is that ever-so-convenient Aeon Mall right across from campus so Durian and I went there and then to the top floor, where there is a Wing Stop, and we ate, of course, chicken wings. Whew, that run-on.

After we got back I started practicing my two poems for tomorrow! I've fully memorized "Weeks" but I'm not quite there on "Blood Pact", so I'll have to practice some more tomorrow morning when I feel a little less exhausted. Okay, lanjut. I practiced, right? And afterwards Strawberry came and hung out with us for a while and we took selfies using my computer.

After practicing Durian had to go upstairs to help out with this SGU Alumni event (why the heck are there so many events on the same day??? Why??) and I was going to get picked up when I met Honey, who is in PR and is a little blunt and then she said, hey let's go to Aeon (again) and eat or something. But we didn't go right away because we were waiting for our other friends. Krupuk, who is also in MT like Durian, came over and he was all, "I'm so tiredddd let's go to Aeon or something. Oh, but let's wait for Durian!" And at the same time Kopi Hitam was sitting at the table with a sour look on his face so Krupuk wandered off and then Honey and I started talking to Kopi Hitam for a while. He is very cynical.

Afterwards I invited Jagung to come with us to Aeon and he said okay, but THEN HE FELL ASLEEP. So Honey and I went to his kost, which is like an apartment building but smaller. We picked him up and reconvened with Krupuk at SGU and then I fell asleep and then we finally went to Aeon and we met Durian there. So it was me, Honey, Krupuk, Durian, and Jagung. We ended up eating at this dim sum place which was at the top floor of Aeon. So today I went to Aeon twice!

Man, I'm really really excited and kind of not excited tomorrow. What's the word? Apprehensive, lah. I haven't actually gone out with Krupuk or Honey or Jagung before this so it was a little new, but I had fun! Really! I know, grumpy little Rin, actually having fun with people. Definitely a change from some of my previous blog entries where I complain about not having any friends. It turns out there are friends in other majors, and I just needed to stay optimistic! (I do have trouble with that though).

The book cover in my post picture today is The Strange Library, a book written by Haruki Murakami. I was on Jagung's Twitter when I saw that he reads Murakami so I immediately decided to ask him about it, since I've never read Murakami and have gotten very curious about him. It was a very good book so after tomorrow is done I'll try and reread it (I read it today in the car since it's an illustrated short story) and get back to you on how I think it is!

I fell asleep super early last night and woke up at 5:30 AM today. That wasn't super fun, because now I'm super tired again. I've been procrastinating on this blog because I've been reading so many other blogs, like Spoon & Tamago. Design blogs make me want to work hard and practice my own design skills so I can unite culture in a way that I really want for my future magazine.

Okay, my eyes have been hurting allll day. I think I'll have to say goodnight now. Thank you, as usual, for reading my blog! It means a lot to me to get positive feedback from you guys, whether it's